Let's talk about boundaries! So often I see people getting frustrated when they are learning to assert themselves on their healing journey when it comes to enforcing their boundaries. I've found that the misconception is often rooted in the expectation that others have to adhere to OUR boundaries. Our boundaries are for us. They are actions that we begin to take, once we have an awareness of things in our lives that we are no longer willing to tolerate or accept.
For many, as soon as you start to lay a foundation of boundaries in your life, you immediately experience push back from those around you. When that push back happens, a shift takes place and the focus becomes why aren't other people respecting my boundaries? The simple answer is because they don't have to. The question is, why aren't YOU adhering to the boundaries you put in place? This is where we are required to change our lens and realize that boundaries are only for self. For example, those who have had their words manipulated, twisted, and minced against them, setting boundaries is ways that YOU feel safe communicating, so that you don't end up in those types of situations again, because if no words are said or no texts are sent, there are no words to twist or manipulate. If you don't like how someone is treating you, you have to ask yourself, why are you allowing that party access to you at all? Your energy is your currency, you get to choose when, how, and with whom you invest it. Not everyone deserves access to you. Often it is our hope for the potential of how a situation might turn out if we "try" hard enough, if we make enough chances on our end that skews the reality that is right in front of our faces.
Boundaries are for our peace, happiness, and our overall well-being. Those are things that can't be taken from us, in fact those are things we often "give away" when we fail to enforce the boundaries we intended to. Learning to speak your truth and assert yourself in new ways can at times be uncomfortable as you learn where you truly stand with those in your life. It can cause a shift in dynamics and interpersonal relationship and result in some things "falling apart". More often than not this "falling apart" is often a gaining of clarity and learning where you truly stand with people around you.
Shifting your perspective to realize that boundaries are for self and not for others has the ability to show you just have much power and control you truly do have in your life. You aren't here to play small or be a character in someone else's story. You get to decide who you are, what you tolerate and what you allow in your life and your energy.