With so many raw emotions at the surface for the collective right now, one recurring theme I've seen coming up the comparison game and weighing one's worth on things outside of themselves. We've all heard the saying that "comparison is the thief of joy" but I'm a firm believer that comparison is the thief of authenticity.
Comparison is something we are born to do it, it is something that we learn, whether it be from societal constructs or how we were raised. Many can relate to being compared to siblings or family members, peers in school or in extracurricular activities. As adults many can resonate with comparison in work environments. And on individual levels, at one point in time, we have most likely compared our intellectual abilities, our personalities, our style and even our physical bodies to someone or something outside of us. And slowly but surely this became a recurrent theme throughout our lives.
Comparison is often associated directly with self-worth and abandonment wounds. When we sit in a space where we are constantly evaluating ourselves against others, comparison begins to manifest in many different ways:
*Feelings of Inadequacy
*Jealousy/Envy
*Need to compete with others
*Self-judgement
*Judgement of others
*Shame
*Feelings of being unlovable
*Harsh Inner Critic
*Anxiety
*Depression
As humans, we seek connection with others, but comparison actually disconnects or "severs" us from that connection we so deeply desire.
How to "cut ties" with the comparison game in your life:
*Shadow Work- addressing and healing wounds at their core
*Validating our feelings- giving our selves the permission to feel ALL of our emotions unapologetically
*Changing the way we speak to ourselves. If we're all honest that inner critic is the meanest "person" we've ever met. You wouldn't berate and criticize others who are struggling or choosing to heal in their lives, so why are you doing it to yourself?
*Practice gratitude and appreciation for ALL the things and ALL the experiences in your life. Every single version of you has done the very best in that moment. And they have gotten you to this present moment in your life. Take a moment to honor them and say thank you.
*Show yourself the same empathy, kindness and grace that you would to a child. Yes, as silly as that might sound, think of yourself as a child that you're a nurturing and loving.
Our self-worth is something that is immeasurable, not something we were meant to constantly weigh and evaluate outside of ourselves. It will never be tied to an achievement, a possession or what you do or do not have in relationship to someone else. Put these incredibly heavy burdens down and release this toxic, learned behavior. Never compete where you don't compare...you were never meant to be anyone other than YOU!