"Make sure your own worst enemy is not living between your own two ears"
As the collective continues to experience a "purging" of denser energies, the wound of self-judgment is coming front and center for many to confront. We've all heard the phrase that we can be our own worst critic, but how does self-judgement manifest and take form in our lives.
Self-judgement is rooted in the idea of "perceived mistakes" and the primary emotions of guilt, disappointment and shame. It's the ego's fear of rejection and emerges in our lives as children often beginning with parental judgement and public embarrassment (i.e. in school, religious constructs, social situations, etc..).
Judgment itself is partial and bias and stems from a very limited perspective giving things labels like good/bad and right/wrong. It is tied heavily to living our lives according to the expectations of others. How many times have you found that you "beat yourself up" for failing to reach an expectation someone else set for you? Now my second question, did you agree to that expectation ahead of time? For example, as a child in school, when your parents set an expectation of you needing to get straight As, we're you striving for something you set, or were you trying to achieve something, so you didn't disappoint your parents? Did a fear begin to manifest in your life if you didn't reach the bar others set for you in regard to behavior, sports or other activities?
So, what exactly does self-judgement look like as we get older:
*The harsh "inner critic" that berates yourself for any perceived mistake
*Holding yourself to a "perfect standard" and picking yourself apart when you think you've "fallen short"
*Replaying conversations or situations over and over again for something you said or did.
*Being hard on yourself when you don't know something or forget something (i.e. calling yourself stupid or thinking you're "less than")
So how do we deal heal the wound of self-judgement? You know the only way out is through friends and everyone's favorite...shadow work. I can hear the groans and feel the eyes rolls. But in all seriousness, shadow work is rooted in bringing the unconscious into the conscious, or simply put, bringing the pieces and parts of ourselves that we've pushed into the shadows into the light to reintegrate.
Some questions to ask yourself as you dive into your own self-judgment:
*When was the first time you can remember being judged?
*What was the first consequence you can remember experiencing for a perceived mistake? Was it a mistake from your perspective or someone else's?
*When was the first time you remember trying to reach an expectation you didn't agree to and you felt you "failed"? What did that feel like in your physical body? What emotions did you experience?
By going back to your earliest memory, you can start to see how self-judgment began to take form in YOUR life.
On our spiritual journeys, we spend such a great deal of time unpacking things, unlearning things, all in the hopes of healing, gaining new perspectives, wisdom and deeper understanding our not only ourselves but the world around us. A path like this requires us to let go of judgement, to stop living life on the terms and opinions of others and discover our true, authentic selves. Are you ready to shift your perspective?