With so much focus of breaking cycles and healing from narcissist abuse in the collective, let's dive into a topic I don't think is discussed enough...the "wind down period". A portion of the collective right now is "fighting the flow" of truly balancing out their masculine and feminine energies.
We hear the terms masculine and feminine energy often in our spiritual journeys, but I've realized through collective chats and discussions there can be some confusion on what this means. These are not "separate" energies, but energies that co-exist with in all of us.
For many that are closing out cycles and ending relationships where narcissistic abuse was experienced, many are unaware of just how great the energetic imbalance truly is. There is such a relief to be "free" from the active "throws" of things, but many often forget the crucial pause that comes when healing these types of wounds.
We often here terms like "fight or flight", "survival mode", or even "functional freeze", but I don't often see many break this down on what that looks like in regard to our feminine and masculine energies.
Wounded/Unbalanced Feminine:
*Overwhelmed (mentally and emotionally)
*Exhausted (emotionally and physically)
*Little or no action (functional freeze)
*Overly emotional
*Being available to everyone all the time
*Co-dependency
*Taking care of everyone else while neglecting to show the same level of care to self
Wounded/Unbalanced Masculine:
*Domination
*Control
*"All or Nothing" Attitude
*Chasing/"Hustle harder" mentality
*Hyper-independence
*Always on the go
*Focused on distractions
*Disconnected from the body/physical vessel
*Need to prove one's worth
*Keeping up with the Jones'
*Push through/"On to the next"
*In competition with others
Balanced Masculine Energy (associated with "doing")
*Acts with purpose
*Attentive to the needs of others
*Logic
*Grounded in self-assurance
*Humble
*Protective
*Structured
Balanced Feminine Energy (associated with being)
*Flow
*State of "being"
*Collaboration
*Emotional balance
*Intuition
*Empathy
*Receiving
*Creativity
Obviously, we "know" that the idea is to find a balance with these energies and to ebb and flow with them, but when you have fought so hard to survive, to fight through things, to bury emotions to avoid conflict, the imbalance almost feels like normal for some people. There's this misconception that once you break free from the relationship and finally get that physical separation, that the "hardest" part is over, but the truth is the healing hasn't even begun.
It can take so much time to "unwind" not just the physical vessel and the nervous system, but the thought patterns, the hypervigilance, the need to protect, and to defend and prove oneself. Allowing yourself the space to unlearn those things, process out loud and truly "feel" your emotions is a step in the healing journey that can't be bypassed or skipped over. Let's be serious, no one likes to "relive" trauma, but having the courage to step into this next phase of healing allows you to get to the "source". For some this is a sometimes referred to as a "mother" or "father" wounded. It can also be rooted in childhood conditioning (i.e. ways that you were raised). This is where we begin to discover who we are (or who we are not), this is where the concept or idea of "breaking generational curses" comes into play, by getting to the root and truly engaging in a level of healing that begins the source.
The only way out in through, friends. Everyone wants to be in their balanced divine feminine and masculine energies, but that means no longer fighting "the call" inwards. The outer world only changes once the inner world changes.
Take a raw honest inventory of your current energy and how you are operating in your present life. That will give you the starting point and awareness you need to begin ushering in energetic balance in your lives. Healing after narcissistic abuse takes time, patience, grace, strength, and so much more than can ever be put in one post.